I got me a sleeping ring tracker thing.
Super smart. $400. Totally unnecessary, but hey, the placebo is strong with this one.
I wake up every morning enthusiastic about looking at my stats and patting myself on the back for successfully lying in bed and doing nothing for a whole straight 8 hours: “Good job, buddy, good job.”
I also have a cat. The dog-like-type cat? You know, the type of cat who fetches things and is actually happy when you get back home?
Yeah, well, he likes to sleep with me… I mean, he’s not really sleeping WITH me… there’s a heater right on the bedside table next to where I sleep, so, he does his poly-phasic sleep sessions there. To this day, I still choose to believe that he’s sleeping with me…
Anyway, on that counter, I charge my sleeping ring. So, curious-the-cat found it. And ATE the goddamn $400 ring..
Now, I immediately got flooded with two distinctly different emotions. One was: “Ahahah, that’s so cute. You stupid cat, you ate the ring, look how stupid you are… ahahah…”, right?
The other emotion: “Mother….you’re just about to die right now.”
Buuuut, I quickly got back to my senses and looked at him, and he seemed to be fine? So I googled “cat eating objects” and The Google said that if it’s small enough, they’ll usually poop it out.
So, this is how my sleep optimizing adventure turned into: “Digging through cat-sand, waiting for $400 cat poops.”