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Mark Wayne

I was scrolling through Facebook the other day and found out that a high-school friend turned into a guru. I remember this friend being as enlightened as a stick, but curiosity got the best of me, so I joined one of his zoom room webinars.

The webinar started with him sharing with us:
“It’s time to see the world the way I see it.”
Wow. I am not as confident about which kind of brand to choose for my toothpaste!

The second point of the webinar was him doing more sharing. How he was not sure whether to share all…


Greed Glands

Being a billionaire is tough stuff. Tons of pressure, problems and responsibilities. They also have tons of money. But it’s never enough.

Ask any billionaire:

“Want more money?”

BILLIONAIRE

“Yes please.”

“How much would you like?”

BILLIONAIRE

“Can I have all of it?”

The Sun envies this guy’s resources, and yet he’s doing the hustle struggle all day, every day, rain or shine, doesn’t matter.

Imagine having a friend who owns 922 fully packed fridges, 221 kitchens (each kitchen fully staffed with cooks, staff, etc.), 129 Meat and Dairy factories and a farming land the size of a…


Finding limiting beliefs is a lot like trying to understand Kanye West. You start with “I’m not a gym person” and usually end up with “I hate God.”

Thankfully, being a novelty junkie, all this “knowing thyself” business is a lot like being in a Casino: full of surprises and disappointments.

But, mental health being so important and all, I bought myself a “How to change beliefs” course.

The first step was to make a list of my current, conscious limiting beliefs. I found 28. Some people call this an epiphany. …


Every-time I smoke weed, my comfort zone turns from “Some Comfort Zone” to “What Comfort Zone?”.

I ain’t no David-Blaine-Dare-Devil, but when I get high, I turn into this 13 year old insecure kid who’s terrified whether to order “Pepperoni and Cheese” or “Quattro Stagioni”…

But, usually, I find THE POWER WITHIN ME to make THE DECISION.

(Pause)

So I went with pepperoni and cheese.

Now, the REAL challenge was:

Do I call them… or do I order it from the app? Using the phone implies I’m a high functioning adult who feels 100% comfortable with what’s going on over…


Not many things in life are as consistent as this: the more tired I get, the more stupid other people get.
Have you noticed that?

Try it.
Just go on social media for 10 minutes and you’ll feel like you’ve just come back from a 3-day-beer-festival.

There’s a trance-like quality to when you’re tired, though. Almost like a psychedelic. Most people look tired. I think we kinda like it.

Moms are the most tired. Always tired. Bags under their eyes. 5 coffees/day. They need a vacation from when they come back from the vacation.

Can’t do any courageous acts when…


An entrepreneur friend wanted to remind me that “Time is money, man.”

How’s so?

How many checks did Time signed for you?

Can you just go to an Apple store and say:
“Listen, how much Time for that iPhone? I have a couple of years left and I’d really like me that iPhone.”

Some wise guru said that it’s:
“So that tings don’t happen all at the same time.”
Right… That makes perfect sense.

The other obsession this friend has is with “Saving time, maan. You gotta save time, man.”.
How do you actually save time?
Do you just put it in your pocket?
Have a little box with a key for it?

And what the hell is Time anyway?
Even clock-makers are clueless…

I don’t know.
It’s all very confusing.


“Everybody wins. Especially you.”

“For only 98 shmucks, your life will EXPLODE.
Your life will not only explode, but you’ll probably turn into an early-stage advanced humanoid. But we can’t guarantee that. We like to keep things honest around here.”

Moral marketers.
Nuns and Cocaine, man…

Imagine this guy being able to say: “Everybody wins, especially you.”, and still manages to have restful sleep. And these smarties are not just marketers. These smarties are some of our friends: - That friend who calls you to let you know he’s FINALLY bought an app on the App Store. Like he lost…


Son
“They’re looking for God’s bones…”

Father
“What are they looking for?”

Son
“God’s bones…”

(Pause)

Father
“They’re looking for God’s balls?”

Son
“No…father. They’re looking for God’s bones.”

Father
“Why are they looking for God’s bones?”

Son
“I don’t know. It’s just an article I’m reading.”

Father
“How come God has bones?”

Son
“I guess they’re trying to be funny. You know how these journalists are.”

Father
“They’re pulling the famous atheist card, ah?”

Son
“I guess. It’s all about getting attention.”

Father
“Damn shame. They turned from perspective bringers to attention seekers.”

Son “They need to make it…


Most of the time I find myself in a state of confusion.
There are many solutions to this, thank God, but nothing compares to the KING of ALL solutions: Fast Food.

Whenever I want to experience that instant transition from “total confusion, apathy, and boredom” to “crystal clear enthusiasm” I go to my nearest MickeyD’s and wait in line with my fellow Speed + Pleasure aficionados.

Weird how grown men and women are ashamed because they can’t stop involuntary swallowing.

“Uhm, yeah… I would like a double-ch (chokes)… Excuse me. And a Big Mac… and (swallows). Uhm.. tehehe.”

Only in…


I don’t know about you, but I never had a break without wanting ANOTHER break. When it comes to breaks, I think the more the better.

Most of my breaks are taken outside, on my balcony. I like the fresh air.

But there’s always this guy sitting at the opposite of my balcony. He just sits there. Staring. Doing nothing. Just… stares.

No, really. I mean, he’s always there. Morning, evening, doesn’t matter, he’s there.

I want to take a breather from my work and stare at the window, he’s there. I want to do my yoga on a sunny…

Mark Wayne

Just for fun.

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