Surprising Beliefs

Finding limiting beliefs is a lot like trying to understand Kanye West. You start with “I’m not a gym person” and usually end up with “I hate God.”

Thankfully, being a novelty junkie, all this “knowing thyself” business is a lot like being in a Casino: full of surprises and disappointments.

But, mental health being so important and all, I bought myself a “How to change beliefs” course.

The first step was to make a list of my current, conscious limiting beliefs. I found 28. Some people call this an epiphany. I called it “Not even Tony Robbins can save me.”

PRO TIP: If you can’t find your limiting beliefs, just get around human beings. For about an hour and a half. You’ll soon find ‘em.

The course promised that I can permanently change a lifelong limiting belief in a couple of minutes. I don’t know about you, but I immediately started to fantasize about receiving my “First Perfect Human Being” award. I soon found out that perfect humans are as frequent as surprising Germans.

Therefore, I bought me a 3rd cat.